Friday, March 16, 2007

Mouse Update

Apparently the mice in Northside have reaped substantial, unnatural abilities, due to their proximity to P&G factories and the Mill Creek.

Northside is now home to Mighty Mice.

When I first discovered the little lovelies' droppings in our silverware drawer, I foolishly thought it was just one, itty bitty, mouse. So we trucked up to CVS in the Gaslight to get some mousetraps. We thought it would be so easy. We were so young and foolish.

There is this lady from Russia who has been working at this CVS for years. She is the meanest, uninterested, wearin' lots of makeup, lady I have ever met. Seriously, if you say "Hi" to her, she grunts at you without making eye contact. She is totally intimidating. I asked her where the mousetraps were, and her little face lit up! At first I thought she was passing gas, but then realized she was smiling at me...... What? Were they out? Was she going to go on a tirade about how cruel it is to kill mice with traps and insult my lazy cats, all hopped up on catnip and Pounce Treats?!? OH GOD WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!??!

She tenderly grasped my arms and led me directly to the mouse traps. She then proceeded to pick up a package and hand them to me.

I clearly thought I was having an acid flashback.

She then smiled ear to ear, and slyly said "I hope you catch it"! I was in shock. I walked away from the "Boo Radley" incident that had just occurred and paid for the traps. As I got into the car, Hotbuns asked me if I was okay, because I was pale. I told him he would not believe what had just happened, because I was still convinced I had made it all up.

When we got home, I designated Hotbuns to be the mousetrap engineer and coroner. He finally was successful in getting the cheese on the trap, only losing two fingers! (I sewed them back on later.) He placed it in the silverware drawer and we went about the rest of our day in giddy anticipation.

The next day we galloped down the stairs, as if we were children ambushing a Christmas Tree. We opened the drawer, ready to bask in the fact that, DAMMIT! WE HAVE THUMBS, EAT IT MOUSE!!!!! We then discovered that the trap had not been activated, yet the cheese was missing. The little pisser sure showed us.

After three more attempts, *shame*, we finally prevailed. We had wine to celebrate.

So two weeks go by. One morning as I was going for a spoon for my steaming, delicious bowl of oatmeal, I noticed little black pellets in the silverware drawer.................AGAIN.

So far we have made about ten attempts to get his one. All unsuccessful.

The mice in Northside have thumbs.

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