Monday, July 26, 2010

Listless Monday: How To Get Rid of Migraines

I woke up at 4am this morning to the sounds of my blood bludgeoning my brain, and the screams, THE SCREAMS! My brain screams like a little bitch. I'm finally starting to feel better (fuck you, imitrex), so I thought I would compile a list on how to deal with a migraine, Katy-style.

10. Shake your significant other out of his peaceful slumber, because if you have to suffer, so does he. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

09. Ease your pain with the soothing, rhythmic, sounds of banging your head against the wall.

08. Cry

07. Whimper

06. Pray and beg the Baby Jebus to have mercy on your cold, dark, soul.

05. When your S.O. starts to fall back asleep, wake him.

04. Tell him you would stay up for him and remind him of all the sacrifices you make for he and the family day to day. Mention the broken milk glass goblet that belonged to your great-grandmother.

03. Cover you face with ice, make sure S.O. is awake to wipe away the condensation.

02. Bargain with God. Promise him the soul of your first born and hope that he doesn't know you plan to remain childless.

01. Stick your head in the toilet and flush. Rinse. Repeat.



  1. I have done every single one of these (Except #1) many times, as I am prone to "migraine Sundays" (Damn this menstrual cycle). I even called a family friend once who was a Christian "healer" and cried and cried and she tried to "pray out the pain". Yeah...migraines suck ass.

  2. Ayi yi. Hope you are feeling better.