Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Lines In the Sand.

When I started this blog in 2006, as The Confused Dildo, I had very little knowledge of the world of "blogging", other than reading Rock and Roll Confidential or Dooce. Little did I know of the vast network of bloggers, especially MommyBloggers, on these world wide webz. I don't know if it had to do with the fact that I am a step-parent, not a "MOMMY" and though I adore the children in my life, I really don't find them too interesting. They're my special snowflakes and I really don't think me violating their privacy with a parade of internet TMI is entertaining nor appropriate.

If I may, I will digress.

I hate that we live in a culture so dominated by advertising and marketing, that "they" have deemed the only real profitable blogs for women, as the ones with the "Mom" focus. It sticks in my craw that in this day and age, a woman's value is based on the fruit of her loins and laundry detergent decision making power. Motherhood is grand and all, but it really is not all that interesting. It can be funny sometimes, but I really don't want to read endless prose dedicated to children I don't know, and will never meet. A clever anecdote here and there? Sure, fine. However, the endless blathering about Braizeighton, how your life was meaningless until you birthed the ultimate love, and your deeper understanding of the universe now that your head is cloudy with baby powder and not bong smoke, is BORING. And offensive. Not everybody thinks procreating is the most important activity to engage in during their life time.

Some people find cures for polio: Science.
Other people have hoards of children they can't take care of: MIRACLES OF LIFE.

Back on track.

I was not only completely ignorant to the enormity of the blogosphere, but also the legions of bloggers who align together, against another group of bloggers, in a "socs v. greasers" kind of way; minus the sexy guys, madras plaid and switchblades. There are the A-list bloggers, the desperately needy Almost A's and Barely B's, not to mention the sexually active, geeky bloggers.... Okay, I'm just talking shit now. However, there are a group of people who are the first to head to their homepages, Twitter accounts, Facebooks, iPhones, what have you, to bellow the praises of the "community", "kinship", and "bravery" for taking finger to pad, and making the entire world a fly on their wall. You know what? Fine. More power to you. However, if you're going to leave your garbage on the sidewalk, don't be shocked when people start to dig through it. Yet, when the digging leads to questions and commentary, HOLD THE PHONE! The proverbial shit hits the fan!

How dare this nobody blogger question the ethics, favoritism, elitism, sizism, martyrdom, attention whoring, psychologically fucked-upedness of any of us? We are top tier bloggers! Our sites get over 10,000 hits a day!

God forbid.

Though I've played around with Adsense and other advertising opportunities for this place, I've never even considered this blog a means to make any income what-so-ever, which is a good thing considering that I'm unknown and suck at writing..... However, what I really suck at is kissing ass and not voicing my opinions when I witness acts of random, hypocritical douche-assery. It seems that if one is to piss some people off on this internet, that one will go old and gray waiting for their invitation to the big ball. Luckily, I eat hate like love and am comfortable dancing with myself.

What I find disturbing is not the kinship in the Mommyblogging Community, it is the antipathy that raises its ugly head if anyone looks at a member of the Community of Specialness and Bravery, sideways. God forbid you voice your opinion about a person blogging about extramarital affairs, vaginaplasties, excessive drinking, the fact your boyfriend left his family to move in with you at Christmas time, the vileness and laziness of "fattys", the cruelness of a successful author not wanting to help you secure a book deal because she's a "fatty" and doesn't appreciate your vitriol against she and her compatriots, or even the ethics of an organization violating their own rules in order to assist a charity run by an A-List blogger.

J'Accuse Hating-est of the Haters!

Then in the distance, faint sound turns into a blaring boom as the Twitter Army of the Community of Specialness and Bravery march towards their Twitter posts, rocks and switchblades in hand, to combat the dirty, greasy, and not nearly as widely successful hate bloggers who only "hate" because they want what the COSB have: corvairs and the heart of Cherry Valance.

Many of these soldiers don't even know what they are fighting, erm, TWEETING against; yet they run to their posts in droves to hash tag the Hatingest of Haters. Did you know if someone is really nice in person, that means they're not really an asshole on the internet...They just play asshole there. These soldiers are savvy to the fact that if they align themselves closely enough with the upper echelon of the blogosphere, that success may just trickle their way. It might, though it is all very Republican and we can all look around our society right now and see just how well "trickle-down" has faired for most of us. So, armed with Twitter and a dream of blog stardom, these gangs begin a campaign to overwhelm perceived dissenters in an effort to quell any contrary message that may be out there.

That'll fix 'em.

I'm not saying that there is not a lot of completely cruel and reprehensible vitriol that is thrown at those in the Community of Specialness and Bravery. There is too much, if you ask me. Some of the hate mail received by these writers, I would have a hard time sending to Sadam Hussein, it's so ugly. You know what? That's not okay. However, it seems to be the trend that if you don't lap dog it up with these people and agree with every single step and action they take, you are automatically labeled "TROLL, HATER, MEAN, FAT, UGLY", what have you, without even a blink of an eye; or more importantly, a finishing of a paragraph.

I think it is important to constantly question people, especially those who thrust themselves into the public eye. Do I think these people are all evil assholes? Nope. Not at all. However, I think many of them are incredibly contradictory and biased. Neither of those attributes are a crime, however, when someone calls those attributes to attention, maybe it's time to step back and process what that person is saying for the sake of healthy debate and learning, instead of sending the "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" command to your Twitter Army?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

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