Monday's List: Ways To Get Back On Course When You Have Eaten WAY TOO MUCH Over The Weekend.

This weekend was a banner weekend for eating and drinking. Friday I ate a giant hot dog, covered in kim-chi and spare ribs, split some duck fat fries and had a glass of sauvignon blanc. WOAH. Later that evening, I ate an ice cream cone, soft serve, dipped in chocolate. ACK!

Saturday, I ate some fruit for breakfast. That evening, I dined on beef tenderloin, cucumber salad, red potato salad, salad, Baked Alaska and COPIUS amounts of red wine.

Sunday, I went to a family reunion and ate a hot dog, cheesy potatoes, taco salad, and a brownie. That night, we had people over for dinner and dined on Kobe-Havarti Cheeseburgers on Ciabatta, corn on the cob and pasta salad. For desert, Chocolate cake.

IT HAS BEEN A FUCKING RIDICULOUS WEEKEND!

I had to roll myself into work today, wishing I had suits with elastic waistbands.

I need to get back on track. Here's how:

10. Prayer

09. Take some vacation time and spend the week on the treadmill. Have the Lil'Honey take a week off so he can whip me while on the treadmill.

08. This week, eat only pretend meals.

07. Sneak into the gym after closing and sleep in the sauna.

06. Use "TEH SECRET" and manifest myself to my pre-weekend weight.

05. Hire a group of young ruffians to chase me wherever I go this week.

04. Take this every where with me: https://shakeweight.com/flare/next, ignore all jack off comments.

03. Spontaneous sit ups.

02. Cocaine

01. Bring back the Botticelli and have another hot dog.